I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
