I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I skipped work to stalk him.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
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i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
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Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
His nipple licking is glorious
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