fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
