I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
