chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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