Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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