She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
