My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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