Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
