porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
