ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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