We're like a lot better than the average bears
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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