I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
