i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize