So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
