You're so nebulous sometimes
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
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