i'm signing you up for texting rehab
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
