STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
