i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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