Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
