Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
no you cant smoke seaweed
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
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I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
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Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.