First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
