i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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