so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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