Christians are straight up FREAKS
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
