I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
