you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
