Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
