Can i not drive my cunt home
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Too much gin, very little bucket
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
