After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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