she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
