and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
