I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
send nudes
from the living room?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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