I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
