I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
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Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
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Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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