I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
