No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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