Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
