We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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