That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
