no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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