Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
