i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
