I just pynch a tree in the face
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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