Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
