I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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