But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
