just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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