i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize