Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
