I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
