I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
