Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
