are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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