can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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