Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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