This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
