I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
