Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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