Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
