Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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