If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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