Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
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you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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