Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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