so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
