I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
