I am puke
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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