Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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